P is for Pursuits - April A to Z Blog Challenge

“Trent, I know I said I was only coming here for a few years. But I love this place. I think about coming back to the States, and I just don’t know if I can do it.” Abby confessed.

“I know, I sense it, I’m figuring that out. I just don’t know at this point what the hell I’m supposed to do about that.” Trent replied.

“What do you mean? What you are supposed to do about what? Are you saying you want to be with me?” Abby asked.

“I’m saying I want to be happy. The pursuit of happiness is what we all are after, right? I feel differently about you. I’m tired of relationships, as I’ve known them. I’m tired of arguing. I’m tired of all anyone ever needs me for is money. I’m tired of being the one to keep in contact and the only time I ever hear from anyone is when they need something. I’m tired of my fucked up life. Yeah, right now, I think things are different with you. But I can’t be sure yet. Pursuing this is what I want to do. But I don’t know how with you there and me here. If I come there, I give up and lose everything. I know you want to stay there, hell I think you need to stay there. At least as long as Cole is still alive. So yeah, I don’t know what the hell to do, what I’m supposed to do, what I need to do, what I want to do. If I come there, I loose my kids, their mother will never let them come there. That’s the most important thing. Secondly, I have to earn a living. I don’t speak Spanish and really don’t want to learn. So what the hell am I supposed to do, how the hell am I supposed to do it?” Trent was visibly agitated, running his hands through his hair while simultaneously shaking his head.

“Let me tell you, as someone who has done it, given up everything, walked away from everyone and everything. It can be done, if it’s what you want bad enough, but it isn’t easy. But Trent, I didn’t know you were to this point. I didn’t know you were feeling or thinking about this. Damn men, never say how they feel, it’s like a guy code thing, express your feelings and you are at risk of loosing your man card if anyone finds out. So, for sure, don’t tell a woman your feelings because we all know they tell everything.” Abby said, wide eyed with a look of shock and surprise.

“What do you mean? I know how I feel about you. That’s not the problem, the problem is, what do I do about it.”

“Exactly, you know how you feel about me, but I’m not sure how you feel, because you haven’t said. Yes, you have shown me in a million different ways, every single day, and yes, most women say show me, don’t tell me, but dammit Trent that doesn’t me don’t tell me, it means tell me and show me. I don’t know why, but we need to hear it too. If I knew you were thinking this way, it is something we could work out together. There are ways to handle situations. No, your kids probably can’t come here, but you can go there. You could work here, with all the gringos here, I’m sure we could find something you could do. Or I could come there. I can travel there 3 months a year, you can travel here 3 months a year, legally. We can work this out some way if it’s what you want.” Her voice calming.

"What do you want Abby?" Trent asked.

“I want to be happy. You are right, the pursuit of happiness is what we are all after. I’ve been chasing it all my life and I finally am happy, feel safe, and at peace. My definition of happiness is very different at this point in my life, and maybe yours is too. What makes me happy is this place, the friends I am making here, the activities I’m involved in, but mostly you! You, Trent, make me happy, everything I do, I want to be able to share with you. I want you there with me. But I don’t want to take you away from what is important to you. I don’t want to take you away from your kids. So, if we can talk about it, maybe we can find a solution that fits not only both of us, but with all the circumstances. We want to be happy, but happiness can’t come with a price. Happiness is black and white, there is no gray. But that doesn’t mean there is only one way to accomplish it. For starters, go buy a lottery ticket!” Abby said with a slight chuckle.

“Have we just had our first argument” Trent asked.

“No, we’ve just had our first impassioned heated conversation” said Abby.

They both chuckled.

***

Meanwhile, back in the U.S., Cole is working on his own pursuit… of Abby and Trent.

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~*~
Scarlett Braden
in Cuenca, Living the good life!